The bitch is back! sorry to everyone who follows me for slacking hard on this. I just graduated university and spent the last 5 months in crisis trying to finish my degree this year to prevent having to go back for another semester. And as much as I loved university, its time to move on. but that in no way means the slut tales are going to stop. and now that Im not dying with school i actually have time to share them with you fine people!
So this happened in November 2010, shortly after my 20th birthday. Now all year my ladies, or as i like to call them my vagina squad, had been going to the bars as per usual, and we ALWAYS saw this guy who looked identical to James Franco. We were always too drunk to actually talk to him or busy picking up someone else to be bothered, but anytime we showed up and he was there it was like a “JAMES FRANCO IS HEREEE!!!” reaction. bitches be crazy, whatever.
There is this thing called St Andrews day. I had never heard of it until I moved away for school, but its like the scottish version of St Patricks day in november. Every year these guys threw a pub night together for St Andrews day and it was always a shit show. We had never gone before because we weren’t 19 or we didn’t know when it was so this year we found out when it was and decided we were going to go. Me and two of the girls got our shirts (its one of those parties) and pre drank our faces off and modified our shirts. This is also the night that we pre drank on chatroulete, oddly enough THAT is one of my most shameful moments. first and only time i have been on, but it was pretty funny. see a penis, take a drink and so forth.
The party was at our favourite bar, just a stumble away from the area we all lived in and had kick ass deals. So once we were sufficiently sauced we walked over and got our party on.
The night started out like any other, hammered laughing and stumbling around hitting on people. like always i seemed to loose everyone within the first hour of being there, which was fine because I started dancing with this guy. Turns out this guy was one of the guys who planned the event, which was pretty sweet. So while we’re dancing, i look over and who is across the dance floor? Hot James Franco. and what is he doing? dancing, and staring - AT ME. As you can imagine i felt pretty damn good about myself at this point. Whats his name had to go do something for the event or whatever so i danced on alone, which is fine i was drunk who cares, and i look up from one of my stellar dance moments and Hot James Franco is still staring at me, smiling, slowly dancing over to me. fuck yeah
So after about five minutes we’ve moved closer to each other and end up dancing together, not saying a word. So the song switches and its a little quieter and he looks me in the eye and says “NINA!?*” For a second I seriously thought I had a heart attack. my mind started racing “shit, how does he know my name? fuck, did I sleep with him and forget about it?! no, theres no way in hell I would sleep with hot james franco and forget! what the fuck is going on” So as I’m standing there staring at him like an idiot, he’s like “Its me! Patrick*!” and then it all made sense
You see, when I first started university in 2008, Facebook was just getting HUUUGE. it was already pretty big but this was like the start of make a Facebook page for EVERYTHING. university, your class, your residence, your hall, your program, everything! so my school had this group for incoming students who would graduate in the 2012 class, and had this whole “POST A PIC, MAJOR, RESIDENCE!” bullshit. basically so you could scope out who you want to fuck the next year. Well this guy, Patrick, had added me on Facebook from that group. And we had actually talked a lot up until the end of first year, but we had never actually met. and fuck me he looked different. He was already hot and i had wanted to bang him them but NOW!? HOLY JESUS FUCK this guy is a BABE!
We ended up dancing and making out for the rest of the night. he bought me a drink. when I went to give him my number, HE STILL HAD IT IN HIS PHONE! FROM FIRST YEAR. what the fuck. either this guy is a hoarder or seriously wanted to bang me. I’m okay with either. When you look like that you can get away with being a little creepy.
Throughout the night though, this guy who i was hooking up with, Table Fail, as he has been mentioned previously in “Threesome, the first encounter” had been texting me. He was supposed to come by the St Andrews day party because he lived down the road, but ended up at our campus pub. so I told him to message me when he got back to his house so we could hook up. You know, make sure I’ve got a backup ready before the end of the night. The only problem with this bar is you get no service. so at 130, when we said we were going to meet up i grabbed my coat and headed outside. He wasn’t home. FUCK THAT. so I went back inside and kept dancing with JF and macking him hard for the rest of the night, until the bar closed.
I ended up inviting him back to my place, so through the snow and the cold and the mass amount of alcohol in our systems we walked back to my place. where we were clothed for all of like, 30 seconds. Literally the moment my bedroom door was closed it was madness. i felt really bad for the girl next door because it was loud, and rough, and i got thrown against the wall a number of times. So Worth it.
Now we come to my favourite part. the next morning I woke up, still a little drunk and fully rested. I sleep facing my wall because i like to have the room to roll over, and i roll over a little because my shoulder hurts and i bump into something. And I’m in bed like “wtf” so i turn my head to see who’s in my bed, hoping they’re attractive, and its James Franco. ladies, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW AWESOME IT IS TO ROLL OVER INTO HOT JAMES FRANCO?! OR ANYONE THAT ATTRACTIVE AND PACKING?! its like christmas or your birthday if you’re an only child who’s parents try to buy your love. its amazing.
Since then we haven’t hooked up again, there have been a number of times where we’ll run into each other at the bar and make out and he’ll buy me a drink and tell me he’s going home with me tonight but it never happens, which is fine i’ll take the drink and the making out. I did drunkenly text him one night asking where he was and why he was not in my pants. that was entertaining.
But yeah, thats pretty much it. moral of the story, BANG PEOPLE YOU ARE VERY MUCH ATTRACTED TOO! they will either suck or be awesome, and there is only one way to find out ;)
Thanks everyone for following, more stories to come! don’t hesitate to leave me a question in my ask